I humiliated a squirrel

My husband and I have gone around and around about getting a pet – we’ve had dogs and cats throughout the years and he just doesn’t want another pet.  Part of me understands – walks, cleaning up after them, the hair – but I miss having a dog and/or cats.  So, I’ve settled on feeding the birds in my yard.

A few weeks a ago I noticed a ground squirrel in the yard, eating flowers and eating plums on the trees – just one bite per plum.  I hate that squirrel.   Then I saw it on the birdfeeder stuffing it’s little squirrely face full of sunflower seeds.  I’ve yelled at the squirrel, tried to squirt it with the hose and thrown rocks and pine cones at it (all misses), all to the detriment of my sore back and the amusement of my family.

I had my husband re-make the bird feeder – a large round tray atop a pole, I thought the squirrel’s reach would not allow it to get on top of the tray from climbing the pole.  Then I saw that furry face stuffing it’s cheeks with seeds yesterday on the tray – and that was it…I snapped.  I went to my studio, grabbed the can of WD-40 I keep next to my rolling mill and sprayed (saturated) the pole and waited.  I watch the squirrel circle the pole, get up on it’s hind legs, sniff, (the oil either masks the smell of the seeds or the squirrel doesn’t like the smell), all while endlessly circling the birdfeeder.  …I’m Bill Murray in Caddy Shack…watching, plotting, waiting…then finally 4 hours later the squirrel makes it’s attempt at scaling the pole.  Sweet revenge…it grabs the pole with all four feet and slides down as if on a fire station pole.  Hah!

Yet, the squirrel is still circling, thinking, calculating….all the while I’m watching – this is my Sunday.  I want that squirrel gone (I don’t want to kill it, just gone).  My daughter feeding my mania conspires with me to really get the squirrel.  We put a gob of peanut butter on the very top of the pole just below the tray and spray the pole with more WD-40 and wait.   My husband and daughter insist we go to lunch – Father’s Day…fine, ok.  I’m thinking of the squirrel.

Home again, I set up camp with a full view of the bird feeder – ipad, water, newspaper and wait.  The squirrel is circling (I’m still watching) hours pass, sniffing, up on two legs, climbing into a small tree with flimsy branches, trying to figure out the leap from the branches on the tray.  Ha, no.  Finally,  he makes another leap onto the pole, this time almost making it to the top….and slides right back down.   Ha! take that squirrel – ya, I saw.  That squirrel heard me laugh and disappeared under a fence, totally humiliated.  I win, ha! I win squirrel.


~ by khmetalwork on June 18, 2012.

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